


Left with a memory

by hoeformodric



Series: Football one-shots <3 [5]
Category: Men's Football RPF, bayern - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 10:22:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20375197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoeformodric/pseuds/hoeformodric
Summary: I was actually not bored this time around. My friend really wanted a Lewandowski story so that's what I did. I hope you all like it.





	Left with a memory

Robert was just leaving the dressing room when Marco hugged him from behind. “Good practice, don’t you think? You are in great form.”

Robert turned around and smiled down at the smaller man. His smile was going from one cheek to another. “I know, thanks.” 

Robert was sometimes too cold towards Marco, but he was never the one to show his love in good ways. He never knew why he was like that, but Marco never minded it much. Sometimes a small touch or a hug made Marco smile larger than it usually should. 

“You look a bit down? Are you sad about something?” Marco asked with a small concern. Robert was in fact very happy, but the news he had to break down to everybody weren’t something they would like to hear.

“No, everything is fine. I actually feel pretty amazing.” Marco hugged Robert once more, this time more passionate which made Robert back up a little and fake cough. “Not here.”

\-- 

Marco was sometimes making plans about his future while he was bored. He also loved imagining where his life would go if he didn’t come play for Borussia. He thought about that the most, because he would’ve never met Robert. Maybe he would, but not the way he got to know him while they were here.

In the short two years Marco was playing for Borussia, he got to know Robert in the ways maybe only his wife knew him which was fine because she was, in fact, his wife. They were also planning on having kids one day and Marco was always okay with that even though he was scared that it will happen in the near future because that meant end of their relationship and anything else.

The only thing he didn’t like about the whole situation was that Robert married his wife after Marco and him got to know each other very, very well.

Robert was dating Anna for much longer than he knew Marco, but in that one year before he married his wife, he got to explore things he never knew he would enjoy with Marco.

He was always afraid of his sexuality. He knew it was wrong of him to even think about touching or being intimate with another man, but falling in love with one? It was wrong on another level. Anna was, or at least Robert thought, love of his life, but after he met Marco things changed a bit.

He started to distance himself from her, he was going out more than he was supposed to, he spent way too much time with Marco and Anna noticed it right away. And she tried doing something and because Robert knew their love and relationship was toning down, he popped the big question and proposed. And Anna, of course, said yes. 

It was something Marco had to understand, and he did, he just hated the fact he was now with a married man. As much as he loved their secret date nights and what they were leading up to, he hated the fact that they had to be a secret.

Sometimes Robert was making all of it even harder because he tried putting all of the guilt he felt on Marco. And as much as Marco wanted to make Robert feel as good as he can, that was where he drew the line. 

He hated being blamed for something he didn’t do. And putting all of the blame on him was just unfair. Robert knew the consequences of them getting caught together, not just for his relationship with his wife, but also for his professional career. And that’s why he was so secretive about it all.

Marco was sometimes thinking of ending it all with Robert and just moving on, finding a girl and playing the part of a straight man he is supposed to play. But something always stopped him from doing it. Maybe it was the way Robert touched him while they were together, or the way he always whispered in his ear when they were somewhere outside where they couldn’t do anything more.

\-- 

Marco tried calling Robert a few times in a span of the few days they didn’t see each other due to the weekend and lack of training because of the close ending of the season.

They had one more game to play and their winter break was about to start. And the transfer window was about to open.

Marco was a bit worried that he didn’t hear from Robert at all because they usually at least texted, but it had already been 4 days and Marco didn’t get any texts or calls from Robert.

On Tuesday, when he arrived to the parking lot of the stadium, he saw Robert’s car park right beside him. “Hey big guy, where have you been? No calls? Or even texts?”

Robert was quiet for a moment, but he lifted his head high and walked closer to Marco. “I have something to tell you.” Marco’s happy and bright smile turned into a frown really quick. After a quick pause Robert opened his mouth like he was about to spill the thing he was holding in for longer than he should but closed them quickly and just continued walking.

“So?” Marco made a confused face and nudged Robert above his ribs. “I’ll tell you inside.”

They were walking towards the entrance quietly, close to each other, which made Marco really anxious and he didn’t know what his reaction should be. Or a better question, what his reaction will be and what will Robert tell him.

When they entered the dressing room most of their teammates were inside and Robert suddenly clapped loudly which drew attention of all of them.

“I have something to tell all of you.” Marco was now more scared than before. He thought about what the news maybe will be and the first thing that traveled to his brain was: a kid.

Maybe Anna really is pregnant, and he knew that would really be the end of their relationship. Because kids are not to joke around with.

“I am going in a few days. I’m moving to Munich with my wife. Bayern wants me a lot, and they got me for free because my contract is done. We have been terrible this season and maybe some of it was my fault, but I have to get this opportunity and maybe find my luck there. I love all of you guys and I wish you great luck for the next season.”

Everyone stood still but soon every player moved closer to Robert and hugged him or gave him a pat on the back or a high five. No one was mad. Because their season really was catastrophic, and no one blamed him for wanting to leave. And Bayern really got that class every one of them aspired to have at that moment.

Marco wasn’t even looking at Robert. His eyes filled with heavy tears and as much as he tried to hide them by looking up and making them go back into his eyes, he wasn’t pretty successful with it.

Robert quickly looked at Marco from across the room and when he saw tears dripping down his face he moved past his other teammates and grabbed Marco by the hand and almost dragged him out of the dressing room. 

“Do you understand you can’t act like this?” Marco’s eyes were still full of tears and he was looking at Roberts hand wrapped around his upper arm so tightly with fear. “Maybe if you told me something like this while we were alone my reaction wouldn’t seem so out of place.” 

Robert let go of Marco’s now almost bruised hand and sighed. He put his sweaty palms on his knees and stood there with no emotions on his face for a few seconds. 

“Come to my house, today around 8, don’t call or anything, just be there.” He got back to his normal position as his back was cracking along. He turned around and walked into the dressing room again leaving Marco behind.

Marco was shocked because last time he came to Robert’s house was before he and Anna got married and started living together. He wasn’t sure why would Robert risk his whole life by inviting Marco to his house.

Marco walked faster than usual to the bathroom and splashed his face with some ice-cold water. A lot of thoughts stormed through his head and it was like he was trying to wash them away with every new splash of water in his face. 

\--

It was only seven, but Robert’s wife was already out of the house. Robert got one of their better wines out and he placed it on the table alongside with two glasses. He changed the sheets on the bed, showered and got dressed. 

At around 7:30 his phone started ringing and as much as he wished it wouldn’t be his wife, it was her. “Honey I think I forgot my keys and I wouldn’t want to wake you up when I come home. Would you be so kind and come out of the house in around 15 minutes and bring me the keys?”

Robert almost choked on his spit and he almost gasped loudly for air. “I thought you and the girls decided to have a sleepover. No?” “Yes, but I didn’t want you to sleep alone. We are moving soon, and I wanted to spend as much time as we can in the house together. It is our first house at last.” Robert sighed deeply and almost ordered: “Nonsense! Go sleep at your friend’s house. I don’t want to seem like the husband that keeps you away from everything.”

Anna smiled widely and blew a kiss into the phone. “I love you so much, don’t be up to late playing that stupid PlayStation.”

Robert kindly said bye and finally hung up. It was almost eight and he was ready.

\-- 

Marco stood in front of Robert’s house longer than he should. Every time he wanted to ring the doorbell his hands started shaking. He hasn’t been in this house in months, and now, he knew this would probably be the last time he would be standing in it.

He finally rang the doorbell and the sound was one of the most nostalgic sounds he has ever heard. The sound of that doorbell reminded him of all the mornings he would be laying in the big bed close to the main hallway and he would hear Robert ring the doorbell after coming home from the morning run and forgetting his keys, it reminded him of all the times they came home tipsy and, while they were clumsily making out on the doorstep, they clicked the doorbell so many times that it would wake up the whole neighborhood.

“Hi. Come on in.” Marco stood in front of Robert and wasn’t able to move. He tried moving his foot towards the entrance, but his leg was stuck to the floor like it was glued there. Robert looked at funnily and after a few moments, his legs were again movable, and he entered the house.

“Why did you invite me here?” Marco asked as soon as he stepped inside the familiar house. “You don’t want to be here?” “I do, but why now? Your wife could come home anytime and…” “She doesn’t have keys. And she is having a “sleepover”” he chuckled but continued “With her friends.”

Marco gulped all of the thick saliva that was now in his mouth and spoke again. “But why?” Robert took a deep breath and as he was exhaling, he started talking, his voice now shaking. “Because I’ll miss you.” Marco’s mouth opened widely, and he wasn’t sure if he ever heard Robert vulnerable like that.

“I’m sorry for all of the stupid shit you have gone through because of me. Sometimes I am just so scared, of getting caught, of losing Anna, but most importantly, of losing you. And now,” he stopped for a moment to contain his tears from falling down his face, “now I’ll lose you. And there’s nothing I can do about it.”

Marco felt a few tears drop onto his cheeks. He moved closer to Robert and took one of his big hands. “This was never supposed to last forever, and we both knew it. I thought the end will be when you get kids, but it was this instead. And that’s selfish, but I’ll manage.”

Robert lifted his head and looked directly at Marco and searched for his eyes which were travelling all around the room avoiding Robert. “Selfish?” Marco nodded silently and finally lifted his gaze to find Robert’s.

“You could you call me and tell me in advance. And you didn’t even had that much respect for me. You told me today? In front of everybody?”. Robert moved closer to Marco and raised his voice a bit: “We talked about this.”

“No, we didn’t!” The few tears Marco let slide to his cheeks were now dry and his eyes were now watering with rage. “We never talk about anything serious because you are so closed off!”

“Stop yelling at me!” Robert wiped his eyes with his, now damp sleeve. “You are acting like a little child.” Marco opened his mouth in shock and talked back “Me? You never talk to me, never! When we go out, we talk about football, football for fuck’s sake.”

Robert made a puzzled face and turned away from Marco, trying to calm down. “And what do you want me to talk about? _Oh Marco, my wife just told me she wants kids next year. Oh Marco, I am moving to Munich next month and won’t be able to do this ever again. Oh Marco, sometimes I wish I never met you because my life would be so much easier.” _

After those words left his mouth, he felt the bitter taste of them on his tongue. He felt how Marco was now fully crying behind him and he felt how heavy they were. He just wanted to take everything back and pretend it didn’t happen. But what would be the point of that?

“What the fuck am I supposed to say to this?” Marco felt useless and betrayed. He took his coat from the hanger and went to open the big doors but felt a hand on his shoulder. 

“Please, this is the last time.” “Last time for what? We will kill each other if I stay here.” Marco opened the doors, but Robert slammed them shut with his other hand. “Please.” Marco turned around suddenly and sharply. “What do you want from me?” He was now yelling, not containing himself anymore. “What the fuck do you want? You just told me that you wish you never met me? How the fuck do you think I feel right now?”

Robert was silent, not even looking at Marco, out of guilt and shame. “Look at me Robert, look at me!” He lifted his gaze at Marco, slowly and painfully, but when Marco saw the tears in his eyes, he got even angrier.

“I just want this to end now, without goodbyes, without last times, just right now, if you aren’t man enough to look at me and at least apologize.” Robert was still silent, looking at the floor again.

“I should’ve known this just couldn’t have a happy ending, or at least not a painful one, I just knew—”

“I love you Marco, and that’s the whole God damn problem.”

Marco was standing there, still holding the door handle in his now sweaty palms looking at Robert with fully opened mouth. He wanted to say something back, but Robert never said it. Never.

“I love you more than my body can take it, but I will still leave you and probably never touch you again because of what—" 

Robert didn’t get to finish when he felt Marco’s soft hands wrapping around his waist and Marco’s head was now resting on Robert’s chest. 

“Of course, you will. It’s your whole career, something you’ve worked for your whole life.” Marco was whispering into Robert’s chest, but Robert heard every word clearly. “And after all, sometimes, I think about leaving it all for you.”

Marco lifted his chin and placed it higher on Robert’s chest and looked Robert in the eyes. “You were just supposed to talk to me, so I knew what I had to go through and not put me on the spot like that. That was all that you had to do.” 

Robert smiled and said, “And I fucked that up.” Marco chuckled softly and nodded in agreement. “Well, yeah you did.” 

Robert felt like something fell off his chest because he felt Marco smile into his chest. “So, you really are going? I was trying to wrap my head around it the whole day today, but it just seems so unreal.” Robert grinned shyly and turned his head to the side. “I know. I agreed to this deal weeks ago and I still can’t believe in a few days I will be in a new city, new house, new stadium. And the weirdest thing is, that it’s not new. I saw Munich a hundred times before, Allianz Arena too, but this time it I will be saying to people _Yeah, that’s my club, my city, my stadium.”_

Marco frowned quickly and detached a bit from Robert. “We will be like the biggest enemies now. Imagine the love stories someone could write about us.” Robert laughed loudly and with heart. He saw Marco’s devilish smile and grinned, putting his head on top of Marco’s. 

“Could we maybe sit down now? I am tired from all the yelling.” Robert kept smiling, unable to detach his gaze away from Marco’s face. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

As soon as their bodies touched the upper fabric of the big comfortable couch, Marco started kissing Robert’s neck and jawline. Robert started gasping at the unexpected but pleasant kisses he felt all over his neck. He took Marco by the hand and pulled him down to lay on the couch beneath him.

Robert pushed his hips harder into Marco as soon as he was above him. Marco was struggling to move, but Robert took his hand and lowered them beside his fidgety body. Marco started making all sorts of sounds because he felt Robert moving closer to his inner thighs and everything in between. 

\-- 

Big, thick rays of sunshine peaked through the see-through curtains that were covering the big windows covering almost the whole wall in Robert’s bedroom. He opened his eyes first, still feeling hot and sweaty from the night before. He looked to his right side and saw Marco still crumpled up like a fetus next to him.

He didn’t want to wake him up, but he had to because when he lifted his phone up and saw it was almost 11, he almost let a loud sound of fear. He saw only one missed call from Anna, but he was still scared shitless that she would find a way in into the house without any keys. 

He stepped out of the bed and pressed _Call back_. “Hey honey, I called to tell you that I’ll be back home by noon, I went to brunch with the girls.” Robert sighed in relaxation and relief. “Oh, no problem, I’ll fix us some cocktails when you come home so we can celebrate and have our last cocktail in the house.” Anna smiled at the other side of the line and sent a kiss. “See you home then!”

Robert hung up and went to the bathroom. He showered quickly, found the first clean underwear in one of the drawers and walked back to his bedroom. He uncovered the windows completely, so the sun was now shining through even brighter than before.

Marco started silently waking up, throwing his long hands around trying to find Robert.

“I’m sorry to wake you, but Anna will be home in 45 minutes or so…” Marco sat up straight as soon as he heard her name and started searching for something to cover up with around the bed. 

“Catch!” Marco felt a soft cloth hitting him in the face and he realized it was some clean underwear. Even though he knew they would be too big for him, he put them on and stepped out of the bed. “I won’t have a chance to get them back to you.”

Robert moved closer to Marco until they were next to each other, almost breathing each other’s air. Robert put his big palms on Marco’s hips, pulling the big underwear up. Marco put his arms around Robert’s neck and almost hung himself around Robert. He was still lightly standing on his toes when Robert moved his head closer and whispered softly, but passionate into Marco’s ear. “You can keep them. After all, you’ll need something to keep you company in the lonely hours.” 

Marco’s knees became weak and he almost fell on the floor, but Robert held him up by the waist and moved him even closer, their whole bodies now being dangerously too close. Robert lifted Marco’s head by his chin and kissed him one last time before pushing Marco away and collecting all of his clothes from the floor to make him get out of the house as soon as possible.

\--

Marco was in front of his car looking at Robert who was standing at his doorstep. He waved him goodbye one last time and sat down in the car. Robert closed the doors and as soon as the doors slammed, he sat on the floor and cried. It wasn’t ugly crying or heavy, but it was tears. And Robert almost never cried. 

He stood up soon enough and walked slowly to the kitchen to get himself a glass of wine. He saw a small book on the counter, alongside with a little bigger notebook.

He picked up the book, noticing it was one of his favorites and he didn’t know what that was doing in his kitchen. He opened the first page and saw a little note. “You were reading this the first time I saw you outside of training.”

Robert felt tears gathering again and he wasn’t going to cry again, not now that his wife will be home in a few moments. But then he picked up the notebook next to the book and he realized it was poorly made scrapbook. 

“You know I love to be creative, but I’m the messiest person ever. I hope you’ll still like this.” Robert saw written on the first page and as he started flipping through the pages, he just felt tears rolling down his cheeks. But this time, he knew those were happy tears and he knew, even though he would never have Marco like that again, he will always have the memory.


End file.
